By Olive Butler
The Abusive A-List Playlist:
1) Betty Davis – He Was A Big Freak (severin)
If the rumours about this song are true, then Miles Davis was into it long before BDSM was even a thing. It’s not just the name-calling in the title, but the disclosure of personal, intimate secrets was never going to go down well with Mr Davis either.
2) Fela Kuti – Roforofo Fight (pejepeine)
According to pejepeine, this will be Fela Kuti’s twentieth appearance in the Marconium. It’s a thrilling track with an unexpected burst of profanity at around 8m15s.
3) Rolling Stones – All About You (amylee)
There are some people you just cannot bear to look at or listen to. Mick Jagger is top of my list, so I’ve never been a Stones fan. This great discovery is a song written and sung by Keith Richards (despite the lyrics being credited to Jagger/Richards, Professor Wiki assures me it’s solely the work of Richards). Is it about Anita Pallenberg or is it really about Jagger (as Richards himself has hinted)? After a plethora of insults, dismissals and put-downs, there’s no denying the potency – and the poignancy – of the last line: “So how come I'm still in love with you?”
4) Cee-Lo Green – Fuck You (Noodsy)
Great song, great title. What else is there to say?
5) Lana Del Rey – Norman Fucking Rockwell (ParaMhor)
I must confess I’ve never really taken the time to acquaint myself with Lana Del Rey, but this is gorgeous. A dreamy, eloquent and beautifully arranged stream of invective.
6) Ben Folds – Bitches Ain’t Shit (philipphilip99)
Ben Folds does Dr Dre & Snoop Dogg and the result is sublime. What next? Suzanne Vega does Eminem? Richard Hawley does Stormzy?
7) Frank Zappa – What’s The Ugliest Part Of Your Body? (amylee)
Another song that was completely new to me (that’s why I love this game!) and consequently I had no idea that Zappa conceived the parent album as a satirical response to Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band. Can’t get over this being released on Verve, just like the first two Velvet Underground albums. Frank Zappa and the Velvets on Verve, the label of Billie Holiday, Ella Fitzgerald and all the jazz greats! How did that happen? Was Norman Granz on holiday?
8) Robyn Hitchcock – Trash (megadom)
Lots of noms this week attacking rock stars (especially wannabe rock stars) and to my mind – and ears – this is the best of the bunch. That said, for your listening pleasure I’ve included explicit personal attacks on Don Henley, Rick Astley and Sting in the B-List.
9) Morrissey – Margaret On The Guillotine (philipphilip99)
The Guardian’s favourite ‘For Britain’ fanboy has turned vituperation into an art form. From his early days in The Smiths (the “belligerent ghouls” and “spineless swine” who run Manchester schools) through to the score-settling petulance of his solo career (deeply unpleasant lyrics like Sorrow Will Come In The End), no A-List would be complete without the man who has never been remotely concerned about giving offence in any context. Here is his prayer for the execution of Margaret Thatcher.
10) The Fall – C.R.E.E.P. (Mussoliniheadkick)
Now if you’re seeking a truly idiosyncratic insult, who better to turn to than the late, great Mark E. Smith? “He is a scum-egg, a horrid trendy wretch,” he sings here. At first I thought I’d misheard ‘scumbag’, but no: ‘scum-egg’ it is. I think I’m going to start using that myself...
11) Terminal Heads – B.Y.C. (Carpgate)
We’ve had Thatcher as a subject, now here’s the lazy, incompetent, philandering fucktard who currently masquerades as the British Prime Minister. Yes, it’s Dominic Cummings’ spokesman himself and the song expresses a sentiment shared by many - including a considerable number of Tories. If the ‘B’ stands for Boris, I think you can probably guess what ‘Y.C.’ stands for (and that’s the only trigger warning you’re getting).
12) Half Man Half Biscuit – Paintball’s Coming Home (Daysinscotland)
A multitude of aspirational middle-class clichés builds to a priceless pay-off.
‘Twat’ by John Cooper Clarke was zedded, but it’s always worth hearing and bang on point for this week’s topic, so it kicks off the B-List.
The Belittling B-List Playlist:
1) John Cooper Clarke – Twat (Mussoliniheadkick)
2) Braindance – Mile X Man (Carpgate)
3) Chumbawamba – Mouthful Of Shit (Vanwolf2)
4) Ian Dury – Fuck Off Noddy (Tubby Brewster)
5) Loretta Lynn & Conway Twitty - You’re The Reason Our Kids Are Ugly (Uncleben)
6) Mojo Nixon – Don Henley Must Die (philipphilip99)
7) Nick Lowe – All Men Are Liars (megadom)
8) The Jam – Scrape Away (Shivsidecar)
9) Richard Thompson – Here Comes Geordie (megadom)
10) Steeleye Span – Alison Gross (severin)
11) Randy Newman – Short People (Loud Atlas)
12) They Might Be Giants – When Will You Die? (Adam Smith)
This week I’m exploiting Guru Privileges to award Carpgate not just one Crackerjack pencil (“CRA-CKER-JACK!”), but six of the damn things in recognition of his magnificent tsunami of nominations. I did toy with the idea of filling up the A List exclusively with Carpy’s noms, but that would have left out too many other good tracks. It was extremely tempting, but out of fairness to everyone else I just couldn’t do it. Bravo, Carpgate nevertheless!
A half dozen Crackerjack pencils awarded to Carpgate for outstanding contributions to insult songs
Guru’s Wildcard Insults:
Insult:
Adam Green – Jessica Simpson
Language that might offend:
Machine Gun Fellatio – Let Me Be Your Dirty Fucking Whore
Content that might offend:
The Tiger Lillies – Kick A Baby
These playlists were inspired by readers' song nominations from last week's topic: A sharper tone: songs with insults and sentiments that may offend. The next topic will launch on Thursday at 1pm UK time.
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