By Severin
“He wondered what kind of life it would be, having to keep swimming all the time to stay exactly in the same place. Pretty similar to his own, he decided.” – Terry Pratchett, The Colour Of Magic
When I was at primary school, we went once a week to Wimbledon Baths. It was the place where I first learned to swim, but not because of the rudimentary “lessons” we had in those days. Which mostly consisted of splashing about in the shallow end, trying not to be drowned by your fellow non-swimmers. Or, if it looked like you were somehow acquiring the basic skills, being taken to the deep end and required to demonstrate that you could swim a length. Or that you couldn't.
After a couple of years of this a schoolfriend's grandfather took my mate and myself to the pool and taught me the basic moves in about 20 minutes. I sometimes wonder if I would otherwise still be splashing about in the shallow end.
As an adult I returned to the pool and did the adult thing of swimming up and down the lanes, counting how many lengths I have done. But, like a lot of other people I stopped going to the pool during the pandemic (at the beginning a broken arm also had something to do with the decision) so I'm hoping that some of the songs this week will inspire a return.
The nominations included all types of swimming. In pools, seas, rivers and lakes. Plus a quick shower or a soak in the bath tub afterwards. Songs about diving, wading and drowning were not ruled out but it was the swimming and bathing that mostly won the day.
So here follows a swimming, life and hygiene lesson in 14 parts:
The various strokes, dives, venues and their pitfalls. Loudon Wainwright takes us through them all. I was tempted by Maddy Prior's excellent cover but give the guy who wrote it his due.
The importance of learning the basics. In swimming and in life and love. The Skints have been described as “torch bearers for modern British reggae music” by Clash magazine.
Pools are not for filling with strong liquor and then diving into. This is quite an important point. Don't do it kids. Even if Kendrick Lamar only means it as a metaphor.
No heavy petting. Unless you really want to. Smoke City make love beneath the water sound pretty attractive although I wouldn’t want to try it. They do actually mention swimming in the Portuguese bit of the lyric.
If swimming in the sea, stay close enough to the shore. Flippancy suspended for this Frightened Rabbit song. Which is an even sadder one in retrospect than it was at the time. Stay safe, talk to friends, keep the shoreline in sight.
And if swimming in the sea at night, make sure there is enough light. The band's name translates as Wakusei Abnormal. The song title translates (roughly) as “swimming in the ocean on a moonlight night”.They do and it sounds bonkers but wonderfully so.
Showers are invigorating but a bath is calming. Especially before a Japanese tea ceremony. Apparently. Bjork expresses the experience through music and a language we have yet to identify.
If the water is shallow enough you can always wade. Illustrated by an old spiritual that also gives coded advice to runaway slaves on evading the slavers and their dogs. There were many versions nominated but The Staple Singers capture the balance between gospel, civil rights and pure joyous popular music.
Wild swimming takes a bit of getting used to. The water can be colder than you are expecting and isn't always that clear! Jon Boden, formerly of Bellowhead, is an advocate and makes his case beautifully.
You don't need to swim frantically. It's not always a race. Roger Eno makes it sound peaceful and relaxing. Which is how I try to take it, plodding along in my slow lane.
If you're too tired to swim, just float for a while. You'll soon be ready to start again. Tracey Thorn's breakup song (I think) accepts that sometimes we just have to keep our heads above the water.
Sometimes, though, you need a more vigorous work out. That's a comment on the music of the topically named Victories At Sea not their lyrics which are minimal and don't appear to be on any lyric site. They sound like they're winning a race though.
Don't forget to come up for air now and then. Three people nominated this song. They either share my love of Olivia Chaney or know how get a song listed on my watch. Or maybe both. The longest river is denial and if you stay there for too long you may get used to it.
Going under the water can feel like cleansing. A healthier way of drowning your sorrows (so long as you remember the advice above). Much religious/baptismal imagery here from Snarky Puppy and the wonderful Shayna Steele, who knows how to deliver a show-stopper.
Happy swimming all. And if you don't swim, then happy bathing and showering …
The Aqueous A-List Playlist:
Loudon Wainwright III – Swimming Song (Nicko)
The Skints – Learning To Swim (Uncleben)
Kendrick Lamar – Swimming Pools (Drank) (magicman)
Smoke City – Underwater Love (Nicko)
Frightened Rabbit – Swim Until You Can't See Land (Suzi)
Wakusei Abnormal - 月夜海水浴 ( TarquinSpodd)
Bjork – Bath (Vikingchild)
The Staple Singers – Wade In The Water (Nicko)
Jon Boden – Cinnamon Water (Alaric)
Roger Eno – Swimming (BanazirGalbazi)
Tracey Thorn – Swimming (megadom)
Victories At Sea – Swim (vanwolf2)
Olivia Chaney – Swimming In The Longest River (Maki)
Snarky Puppy (feat Shayna Steele) – Gone Under (Nilpferd)
Big Bathing B-List Playlist:
Laura Marling – Alas I Cannot Swim (ParaMhor)
Memphis Jug Band – Papa's Got Your Bath Water On (Nicko)
Creedence Clearwater Revival – Green River
The Golden Gate Quartet – Wade In The Water (Nicko)
Modern Studies – Dive-Bombing
Maddy Prior – Swimming Song (Alaric)
The Mountain Goats and The Wave Pictures – He Swims Like A Fish (Shoegazer)
K'Naan – Wash It Down (Tincanman)
Sub Focus – Splash (feat Coco) (magicman)
Veda Hille – Soapland Serenade (TatankaYotanka)
Linda Lewis – Fathoms Deep (pejepeine)
Sade – Lovers Rock (Uncleben)
Tricot – Pool (megadom)
Allo Darlin' – Lets Go Swimming (barbryn)
Little Feat – Fat Man In The Bathtub (ShivSidecar)
Show Of Hands – The Dive (Suzi)
Anna Calvi – Swimming Pool (Vikingchild)
Madonna – Swim (Uncleben)
Candidate – Swim Home (GeorgeBoyland)
Lemon Jelly – In The Bath (Shoegazer)
Guru's Wild Non-Swimming Cards:
None of them about swimming but after Olivia was nominated I got slightly stuck for ideas. Two about having a wash and one about drowning (sort of).
Oh What A Lovely War Soundtrack – Whiter Than The Whitewash On The Wall
Honolulu Mountain Daffodils – Bathtime For Beelzebub
This Heat – Not Waving
These playlists were inspired by readers' song nominations from last week's topic: Wet legs: songs about swimming, bathing and showering. The next topic will launch on Thursday at 1pm UK time.
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