By magicman
We are brainwashed by the market every day. We receive messages about how we are, what we need, what we deserve every hour. We hate it, but we can’t switch it off. AdBlock is itself being switched off by YouTube as we speak, completely changing our experience to one a little like the following:
Everybody’s talkin’ ‘bout broccoli
Watercress, cabbages and celery
Carrots and spinach and radish and chicory,
We’re Bird’s Eye, Bird’s Eye,
All we are saying is give peas a chance. – John & Yoko – Give Peace A Chance
Suggestion of the week goes to the redoubtable Uncleben sparing a thought for the maligned pea.
The rest of the A-list goes something like this:
Give yourself the gift you’ve been waiting for all year. Fly Virgin Galactic:
Say She She - Astral Planes
You’re fit. You’re swift. You’re fire baby fire when you slide into Nike:
James Brown – Get On The Good Foot
Share the tropical spirit of the holidays with Saint Wilson Travel:
The Beach Boys – Holiday
Smoke ‘em if you got ‘em, if you ain’t got ‘em, then you hit rock bottom. Ready Rolled Smoke Rings from Benson & Hedges:
Les Paul & Mary Ford – Smoke Rings
I’ve had men ask me how I keep it up and I tell them Mirage Bavage:
Ned Doheny – Get It Up For Love
Start me up pigface, we have the meatz, pigslice heaven everyday:
Annette Hanshaw - Cooking Breakfast For The One I Love
You’re hip, you’re slick, you’re peng, you’re sick, flexing Garmz:
Curtis Mayfield - Superfly
Don’t suffer in silence, why grin and bear it? Be good to yourself whenever you ride Tiger Vaseline:
Billy Ocean - Love Really Hurts Without You
Fancy a pint and a chat about the new Taylor Swift LP? Pour yourself a drink from the fridge and come to the best online pub in the known universe:
Pete and the Pirates - Come To The Bar
Women go longer than men, everyone knows that. It’s cheaper to keep her with this special offer Drugpumper one-a-day throbbing hardman:
Take That - Up All Night
You have to give someone that hope. If not, try a marshmallow:
Bing Crosby - Marshmallow World
There’s a whole world out there, waiting for you with Google:
U2 - I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking for
The Imagined Advertisement A-List Playlist:
Commercial Billboard B-List Playlist:
Elvis Presley - Burning Love – roast chestnuts for dinner better than nothing
Ska-P - Cannabis – marijuana saves capitalism
Gen Hoshino - Life - health insurance in case of death
Halmens - Mustard – mustard makes everything better except clothing
The Clash - Lost In The Supermarket – online shopping for the fearful
Imagine Dragons – Whatever It Takes - witness the fitness disappear in days
Katrina & The Waves - Walking on Sunshine – lab-grown diamonds
Frank Black - Headache – addictive opiod painkillers
Sleepy Jackson - Good Dancers – health breaks in beautiful places with beautiful people but not for you
Young Fathers - Rice – rice ‘n’ peas
Flying Lizards - Money – offshore banking business
Eurythmics - Sweet Dreams – brie
Join for just one dollar down and you can get in, get energised and get going. This can still be your year, one dollar down and pay nothing until January seventeenth.
Get coverage for what you care about – your future wellness breaks.
Don’t make bad money moves, be smart, look after your wallet.
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Happy New Year Song Bar Landlord and Patrons
magicman
These playlists were inspired by readers' song nominations in response to last week's topic: Christmas sale special: give out songs to fit fictional commercials. The next topic will launch on Thursday 4th January at around 1pm UK time.
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