By The Landlord
“People who live in glass houses have to answer the door.” – Karl Pilkington
“A house is a machine for living in.” – Le Corbusier
“May this house stand until an ant drinks the ocean and a tortoise circles the world.” – Jonathan Carroll
“Always live in the ugliest house on the street - then you don't have to look at it.” – David Hockney
“I told my mother-in-law that my house was her house, and she said, 'Get the hell off my property’.” – Joan Rivers
“I am a marvellous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man I keep his house.” – Zsa Zsa Gabor
I've lived in the same house for almost twenty years, and during my tenure, among many other events, it has seen not only the birth of a litter of kittens, but also of a human baby – at a different time, but within just feet of each other. The cat had secretly found a safe, warm spot, under a bed. A couple of years later, from above that same bed, the human mother, who with her partner was renting a room, got up in the night to go to the bathroom, and suddenly ... it was all happening.
While it's not normal in modern life for humans to be born in houses, I'm quite proud that for all concerned, it felt sufficiently safe and homely. Perhaps some sort of fertile, life-affirming magic was even at play.
In 126 years since it was built, including us, there have only been four owners of this creaky, characterful dwelling in a lively, unusual, constantly evolving area of east London, a house still with its original floorboards, and much other woodwork and fireplaces, and perhaps that's all for a good reason - it instantly had a loved and lived-in feeling.
Houses host all sides of life – births, deaths, arguments, romance, all the ups and downs and well periods of work and rest, and forgotten boredom. They've witnessed all of our emotions, soaking them into the walls and floors. No doubt, since it was built in 1899, the previous owner and occupants would have had many more stories to tell.
Houses, especially older ones, are physical, visceral, living entities, just like our bodies. They make strange noises, gurgling in pipes and groaning when objects move through them. They have a skeletal structure, often of timber and brick, with a skin of plaster, straw or other materials. They need to be impervious to rain, and keep warmth in, but let moisture out. Hot and cold water and different forms of electricity and gas run through them. They need fuel and energy to function, and life to fill them.They need regular maintenance, and the repair process can be painful, and costly.
Houses have a hearth and heart - and it's no coincidence that these words are so similar. They have a visible front, and as a child I always saw doors, windows and rooftops as facial features, variously as nose, eyes, mouth and hair. And all the while many other chambers and passages are working underneath, heating up, cooling down, breathing and changing.
Houses evolve through our lifestyle, clothed in different styles through eras, yet we also grow comfortable with, and used to them, just like our bodies. They often begin small, or whatever we can afford, and expand, just like we do, and then towards the end of life, shrink and downsize.
So it's no surprise then that houses are full of great stories and human emotions, and so this week, as we head into our ninth birthday, it's a grand topic that should stand the test of time. Some parallel topics have come up in the past - home in more general terms, which could be any place such as a town or another location, another broader one - buildings, as well as similar but different examples such as songs about hotels, or castles and palaces. But this one is all about houses themselves - songs set in them, referring to them, or where they have a central theme.
Houses are a human obsession - they represent a life of debt, a refuge, a comfort, a source of pride, of growth and family, the expression of work and rest, of wealth and poverty, from vast mansions to favelas and ghettos. The history of housing is a huge subject in itself area, with tales of corruption and innovation, all that is good and bad in human nature, from evolving utopian, egalitarian communities to corrupt, exploitative landlords and developers. From caves to tree houses, shacks to all sizes of boxes, humble or impressive, we've always needed a place to call our own, somewhere to live.
But for lighter inspiration, and your entertainment, here are a few examples of a diversity of houses from around, the world, mostly real, some of them unusual to help stretch out in different directions and will perhaps spring a variety of responses reaching into history and around the world:
Cave houses, Cappadocia, Turkey
Hillside homes in Haiti
Haines Shoe House, Pennsylvanna
Pierre Cardin’s Bubble House near Cannes
Ecuador stilt-homes made of eucalyptus and mangrove trees
Upside down house. Where? Down Under …
Dymaxion House by Buckminster Fuller
Pastel suburbia in Edward Scissorhands
The Bates house, near the motel, in Psycho
So then, it’s time to get our house in order, that is in the form of playlists, but how will it all play out? This week’s housekeeper in chief, who no doubt has plenty to write home about this subject, is the brilliant Barbryn! Place your song suggestions in the boxes below for deadline at 11pm UK time on Monday. No need to knock, just and enter…
Harping on ..
Instrumental house in Dresden …
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