After Rocky Mountain Mike's humour take on Donald Trump and the far right, another great satirist focuses on the Russian leader's ego through the prism of musical hall and ragtime. As the two leaders meet in Helsinki for a charade of a charade press conference, avoiding any questions of corruption and election collusion, Newman is a grand master of light-hearted film music, such as for the Toy Story movies, many other songs with tender stories about American history, as well as parody of prejudice against Short People which successfully fooled many listeners. But behind the silliness of this song, from his political 2017 album Dark Matter, he sharply captures the Russian president's perspective on strong leadership, the true cost of the second world war, frustrations over having to pretend to be in a democracy, and a willingness to manipulate other states to his own end. Smokescreens and greed? Not so different from America after all …
Rumour has Newman also wrote a song about Donald Trump talking to his own penis, but decided to pull it from the album at the last minute.
Putin puttin' his pants on
One leg at a time
Mean he's just like a regular fella, huh?
He ain't nothin' like a regular fella!
Putin puttin' his hat on
Hat size number nine
You sayin' Putin's gettin' big-headed?
Putin's head's just fine!
He can drive his giant tractor
Across the Trans-Siberian plain!
He can power a nuclear reactor
With the left side of his brain!
And when he take his shirt off
He drive the ladies crazy!
And when he take his shirt off
Make me wanna be a lady!
It's the Putin Girls!
[Chorus: Putin Girls]
Putin, if you put it, would you put it where you put it?
Putin, if you put it, would you put it next to me?
Putin, if you put it, would you put it, where you put it?
Putin, if you put it, would you put it next to me?
[Interlude: Randy Newman]
Now, Putin hates the Putin Girls, cause he hates vulgarity, and he loves his mother country, and he loves his family. He and his ex-wife, Lyudmila, live right along the shore of the beautiful new Russian Black Sea. Let's listen in, a great man is speaking:
[Verse 2: "Vladimir Putin"]
We fought a war for this?
I'm almost ashamed
The Mediterranean
Now there's a resort worth fighting for!
If only the Greeks or the Turks
Would start to sniff around
Oh, I'd bring the hammer down
So quick their woolly heads would spin!
Woolly head, woolly head, woolly head
Oh, wait a minute, even better!
What if the Kurds got in the way?
Hey, Kurds and way, Kurds and way!
Sometimes a people is greater than their leader:
Germany, Kentucky, and France
Sometimes a leader towers over his country:
One shot at glory, they won't get a second chance
I'll drag these peasants kicking and screaming
Into the 21st century
I thought we'd make it, I must've been dreaming
These chicken farmers and fire clerks gonna be the death of me
[Outro: "Vladimir Putin" and Putin Girls]
I can't do it
Sure you can!
I can't do it!
Yeah you can!
What makes you say that, girls?
I'll tell you why:
Cause you're the Putin Man!
Who whipped Napoleon?
We did!
Who won World War II?
The Americans!
That's a good one, ladies
It's our turn to sit in the comfy chair!
And you're the man gonna get us there!
I don't know, Lenin couldn't do it!
I don't know, Stalin couldn't do it!
Now they couldn't do it, why do you think I can?
You're gonna lead our people to the Promised Land!
Oh, you're right!
Cause goddamn, I'm the Putin Man!
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